Lauren W.

for the first time in my life
home
is a person

home has a heartbeat

and we kiss in the backseat

in his white car

and I feel

complete

we met on march 15th

at his grandmas house in Utah

both nervous and shaking
we side hugged
and my heart was his for the taking

I didn't admit it for months

but I fell for him in front
of his grandmas house in st George

he was tall and really funny
and made me laugh so hard it hurt my tummy

we drove to las vegas
and listened to frank Sinatra by the fountains

we told Tiffany we were engaged
and the butterflies in my stomach were uncaged

we hiked in the red rock
and watched his favorite movie

and a year and a half later
I still think about the day
surrounded by red rock
that home
turned into a boy with blue eyes, curly hair
and a heartbeat

it was you and it was me

Against the world we could be 

We exchanged flowers for kisses

And i love you’s turned to missin’s

Missin you missin me 

Together is where we should be

Haven’t seen you in a month 

i wish you were out front 

Of my house 

But we’re done fighting

I guess it wasn’t worth it

But i would drive to Arizona 

If you think we could work it out

You said you won’t give up

Until worlds end 

But the world isnt over 

So why are we?

Why say “you’re the one for me”

If we give up after a week

Of fighting for our love

I get it, we feel weak

But our love is stronger 

Than the current in the sea 

And we shouldn’t just stop

It should be you and me

You told me yourself, you said “marry me”

So Andrew i love you,

And I’m willing to do what it takes

I will fight till the world ends

And the earth quakes 

You have my heart 

You have my love

I love you to the stars up above

If this is worth it

And you love me too

Let’s make it work

And be together, just us two 

You have blue eyes like the sky

And they get bluer when you cry 

You bite your lip when you’re stressed 

And you like frank ocean best 

And i know you don’t see it

But when you’re happy you emit 

A light so bright 

You could light up the night 

when you’re mad you let out sighs

when you’re sad you close your eyes

You care too deeply

And you think too much

Your love does not come cheaply

And you melt me with every touch 

I love you to the stars

But you don’t love yourself

This love has left me with scars 

I wish you knew your wealth

You are nice and you are sweet

And your love can’t be beat

We’ve given it so many chances 

And we always come back

Don’t you think there’s a reason?

That we can’t stay away 

I wish it wasn’t so hard

But life without you is so grey 

You bring color to my life

and I’ve been searching for a long time

You have blue eyes like the sky

And I’m tired of seeing you cry

So let’s make this right

And end this fight 

if you want me then

just call me tonight 

my phone is on loud 

and I know I wont sleep

if you love me, tell me

They said we’d know it all by 21

How to live

How to love

How to be alive

And how to be in love 

Jack found love on Tuesday

And Sarah’s love won’t stay

Ella found love in math class

And Jordan’s heart is broken

Hoping the hurt will soon pass 

Jen has 2 kids 

With a man she met in 9th grade

And George has loved Kate for 3 decades 

Rihanna found love in a hopeless place

And we’re all just hopeless

and out of place

So we take bread on Sunday

Trying to find relief in a holy place 

We keep our heads up high, 

Though we’re dying on the inside 

We will find our way,

One day

because in the end,

We’re all just broken hearted people

drunk off the idea of love

Praying for the day when we can finally love ourselves

Instead of waiting for someone else to do it

I never thought that you’d be the cause for my anxiety 

And it looks like I’ve started dieting

If you call leave a message at the beep

My love wasn’t cheap 

And you took it all

You don’t care

And it hurts 

And i still have 2 of your shirts

So I’ll burn them like the bridge 

You burned between us

We were best friends

We were lovers 

We’d stay in bed all day under covers

But i guess you’re an actor too

So this is just something I’ll have to go through

Is there someone else?

Is she prettier than me?

Does she make you happier then we ever could be?

You knew how i felt about love

About dating

So why were you faking 

Why did you tell me you loved me

To the stars you always will

And then leave me like I’m nothing 

To be alone up on that hill 

I guess i just don’t get it

How this couldn’t be bothering you

I don’t want you to be sad 

But 

Didn’t you feel it too?

I loved you with everything 

I had in my heart 

But now i guess it’s time

For us to be apart

I deserve a real love

That is honest and true 

I guess i just really 

wanted it to be you

The day bleeds into night 

And it makes me so sad

To think that we weren’t right 

we were young lovers

with old souls

and although everything around us was falling apart

we still had each other

and I told myself that I wouldn't fall in love with you

I wasn't ready

but it was 2 am

and we were in my bed

and I felt happy for the first time in months

I finally believed in love again,

because I was in it

so this is a letter to you,

I don't think you'll see this, but here goes nothing

thank you

for helping me not only believe in love again,

but in myself

a part of me will love you for the rest of my life

and I understand that things happen

and we can't keep all the promises we make

but if you take anything away from this relationship, 

know this

you are sunshine

and flowers

and gold

you are happiness 

you are joy

you are kindness 

and caring

you are generous 

and thoughtful

and strong

you are driven 

and passionate

and you are loved

you are all things good in this world

and I love you

love,

Lauren

be my mistake: the 1975
grow as we go: ben platt

They said we’d know it all by 21

How to live

How to love

How to be alive

And how to be in love 

Jack found love on Tuesday

And Sarah’s love won’t stay

Ella found love in math class

And Jordan’s heart is broken

Hoping the hurt will soon pass 

Jen has 2 kids 

With a man she met in 9th grade

And George has loved Kate for 3 decades 

Rihanna found love in a hopeless place

And we’re all just hopeless

and out of place

So we take bread on Sunday

Trying to find relief in a holy place 

We keep our heads up high, 

Though we’re dying on the inside 

We will find our way,

One day

because in the end,

We’re all just broken hearted people

drunk off the idea of love

Praying for the day when we can finally love ourselves

Instead of waiting for someone else to do it