nostalgic dreaming
7:18 PM
Hell
is loving you in my sleep
and
waking up alone
I used to wake up crying from nightmares of losing
you
Now I wake up and my whole world is like one giant
nightmare
Everything
I do reminds me of you.
I
turn on the radio and it's that song we sang on our canyon drive.
I
go to lunch and remember exactly what you ordered
I
try to do my chemistry, but of course I can't do it without you
You're hanging on my walls
you're hanging in my memories
you're hanging on to my heart
all
your notes are in my journal and i see you everywhere i look
i
saved all of our tickets from games, movies, arcades and carnivals and
now i can't go to games, movies, arcades or carnivals without
drowning in my thoughts about you
I
see you with other girls and all i can do is dream, wish, pray it was me, i was her.
I
remember this quote my friend told me. It said
"Wounds
heal but scars will stay forever"
You've wounded me
And
I hope you never become a scar, cause baby your blood is stained across my
shirt and I'm not willing to give you a part of me that won't come out in the
wash
5 comments
loved this, super relatable. great job!
ReplyDeleteI relate to this so much. Thanks for putting it in words
ReplyDeletealright. where the freak do I even begin.
ReplyDeletethis post is probably thee best thing I have read in a longgg time - if not ever read.
I can relate to this post so much its incredible. you basically pulled everything out of my heart in the deepest corners and put it on paper. (or, screen, I should say.) like really, this is crazy amazing.
I would pull out my favorite parts of this post but its impossible to pick a few - that sounds cliché but I've never meant that more in my life. although, I really connected with the chemistry part. idk if you meant it like this: chemistry is love, right? well, people relate it to that anyways. well you can't do chemistry without him, so that could be literally or, to me, I took it as you can't love anyone besides him. you can't do chemistry without him. yeah. I really like that part.
"I see you with other girls and all i can do is dream, wish, pray it was me, i was her." to be honest, I haven't prayed in a longgg time. but I just got through this horrible breakup and I swear I was in love this this man like none other, but it ended, and I prayed. I prayed so hard that I could be that girl he is with now.
it hurts. it hurts so bad. idk if I am still in love with him, but I know those feelings are so real. so real that I could grab them out of the air.
okay sorry i'm rambling now.
anyways.
I love the scar part at the end. I really hope he never becomes a scar. ever. because my past lover is a scar on my whole body and it just won't go away. scars fade over time but they are still there. they still remain. they will never be fully gone - and that sucks.
I hold onto memories more than I hold onto a life guard saving my life while im drowning. so I totally get the whole radio, singing, saving tickets and not being able to go back and ugh it sucks.
that quote that you added in the beginning to so true. so real. so heart wrenching because my life is a nightmare right now. my life is a dim, flickering light not quite making it to stay light.
well, yep.
you're an unreal writer. please keep writing from your heart because your heart is real and not sugar-coated. anyone would be lucky to have the heart you do.
keep it up.
cause baby your blood is stained across my shirt and I'm not willing to give you a part of me that won't come out in the wash
ReplyDeleteThis post is so real. It's honest and raw and I can't help but admire you and everything you're writing.
So this is perfect. And tragic. And beautiful.
ReplyDelete