Lauren W.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

and if a heart breaks in your chest and no one around you cares, does it ever heal?

nobody cares about the grief inside your bones

they're just sticks and stones

"the hurt will heal soon, darling, it just takes time"

missing you comes with the tide

and right now its high

and I'm drowning

i want you at my door
i don't care if its 4
in the morning

i know its cliche but
i miss your blue eyes

today the sky reminded me of them

and i couldn't help but think
are you thinking of me too?

someone asked me the other day, if you had 3 wishes what would they be?

i wish we were together
close enough to be
like the flowers in my journal
pressed between the pages
of the memories i wrote about you

and i wish your hands
were intertwined with mine
like crochet needles
making a beautiful piece of art
they'd hang us in the met and baby we'd be famous

i wish you'd call me
and tell me you still loved me
like it was your last day on earth
and you didn't want anything more than to be with me

sitting at a picnic table on the beach
so close that our legs were touching
my cheeks blushing
hearts are buzzing

but its a shame
because the genie never came

my wishes are just wishes
and my dreams are just dreams
i can hear my heart scream

but no one else is around
so can you hear it?

i used to think that love was real
that you actually felt something with a person
maybe a spark
or fireworks

but recently I've started to think that its a concept
its a concept society has created
for people who like kissing each other
they think that if someone holds their hand
that they hold their heart too

i think love is dead
buried 6 feet under
right next to the boy who said "i'll never hurt you"
i don't know how i thought that could be true
i guess "hurt" means something different to you

i used to think there was something romantic
about fighting for love
but just because i want you
doesn't mean that i should put myself into a boxing ring
with no training
and let my heart get beat
i can't compete
with her

you win this round

i think that love is like flowers
you pick the one you want
and watch it grow for a while
until it wilts away
and dies in your hand

if love
were real
then so were we

and if we were real
you'd still be with me

and painful to a woman

than being told that she’s amazing

by a man who treats her like

she’s not good enough to commit to

— r.h. Sin

on sunday morning i woke up thinking
"how many pills would it take"

the sky was gray
the clouds were crying

so was i

everything that was finally going right
took a left turn for the worst

if you love me, why'd you leave me?

"i just need time, I'm not ready for this"
"if i were ready, it'd be you"

i think you decide when you're ready
and i don't know what it is that is holding you back
but if you really loved me
you'd want me there now

some people say
you meet the right people
at the wrong time

but i think love is timeless

if its the right person
you will make it work

i guess that's the difference between you and me

is that i've got all the time in the world, when it comes to you

and you've got none, when it comes to me

i hope you realized that i really did love you

and i don't think it was the timing that was wrong

it's ok, if it wasn't real

just let me know, so my heart can heal

I know you won't read this
because you think i've already written our break up poem

and i have
but I'm not done yet

this isn't really a poem, more-so just me getting my thoughts written down, in hopes that maybe it'll help me feel better

dear you,
i miss you

not just at night when I'm lonely
but all the time

morning, midday, evening, hell i even miss you while I'm sleeping

i know you're not spontaneous
and you always do whats right

but we should've jumped in the ocean that night

and i want you to call me
at 2 am when you're missing me

not because its right
because we know its not
but because you don't care whats right

screw being right all the time
im sick of being perfect
i want flaws and mistakes
and for you to call me and tell me you miss me
i want to be a fool with you
instead of logical without you

i won't beg you to stay with me
but i am forgetting your voice

i want to call you when something goes bad
but i mostly want to call you to tell you when something goes good

i want you
i miss you
so much

I've been asked on 2 dates this week
and every time i go out
i think "this isn't him"

they don't make me laugh like you do

their hands don't fit the way ours do

i don't just miss you because I'm lonely
i miss the way you laugh at everything
and the way your thumb rubs mine when we're holding hands

i miss the way you'd mock me when i said something dumb
or when you'd text me what cards you had so that we could win

i miss stealing peoples car just so we could kiss in the graveyard

but mostly
i just miss my best friend

so if you ever read this
just know
I'm sitting here
thinking about you

and if you are reading this
that probably means you're thinking of me too

dont do whats right
be a fool
be my fool

i think its safer to fall in love with someone
who never loved you back
then to fall in love with someone
who said they did

my mama always said that in order for someone to love me
i have to learn to love myself

i think she's wrong

i think its easier to love yourself
when you have someone holding your hand while you walk down the aisle of your imperfections

aisle 2 crooked smile
aisle 6 wide hips
17 drama queen

someone to pick you up when you trip over your flaws
or tell you that doing your best is enough

tell you that you are enough

i was learning to love myself
until i learned that it was a lie

the next day it was goodbye
thought you were a good guy
and I'm sorry
i didn't qualify

i told myself not to fall in love
nows not the time

i told myself he's not the one
you're too young

my head keeps telling me no
but my heart is saying yes
my body is saying now
and he's saying we'll make this work somehow, my love

it was 12:42am
we were intertwined in the sheets of his bed
"i'd marry you tomorrow, if i could"

everything was right
but so so wrong
in all the right ways

until

it was sunday
and it was raining
he asked to hold my hand on the way home

then dropped me off
for the last time