Lauren W.

I am stuck in a rut
between you
and the right thing to do

ive dreamt about you the past 4 days
and they tell me "chase your dreams, kid"
but how am I supposed to chase something
that keeps running away

you come back when its convenient for you
usually around 2
in the morning

but what's in it for me
if you tell me you miss me
you wanna kiss me
and hold my hand

if you can't hold my heart too,,

I guess I will be the loss of your life
instead of the love

someone once told me
"the depth of your love 
is the depth of your wound"

how unfortunate it is
that I was all in
and you had barely fallen

I poured my soul into your palms
and watched it seep through your fingers

this was not love
this was not real

if it was love
it would have no end
and you wouldn't be this good
at being just friends

my friends are hungover alcohol
and i'm hungover you

so cheers to breaking my heart
for months of watching me fall apart

just to do it again

so I will be the love of my own life
and I will learn to love myself
more than I could ever love you

I will miss you more than you know
but from this
I will grow

so ill move away from here
and watch the sunset on the hill
and wait for the day
when the sun rises
and I rise with it

I was sitting in the emergency exit
boarding a plane to anywhere but here

unprepared for evacuation
though I told them I was

we touched ground around 11:27 pm
the world was asleep

I didn't know where I was
until I found myself outside your house

just when I thought it was over
just when I thought I was over

we're back where it all started
trying not to show how broken hearted
we really are

we talk like old friends
and touch like old lovers

every breath hurts
with the thought of what could be
and with the thought of what should be

it could've been us
you and me
against it all

but its not
and it won't be

so I will board the plane
to anywhere but here

this time I am scared

"what if we crash
just like all the other times?", I think

"but what if we don't?"

I am sleeping
but I am not beauty

you are sin
and I am your sinner

so call the pope
or the minister,
the bishop or
the sinister

and lets hope heaven allows visitors

gravity pulls me closer to sin
it's skin on skin

and nobody wins
when its you and me

because you will always be
just another boy
who takes what he wants from me

we keep falling on each other
to fill the empty spaces
of our bones

but you are not home

just another boy
for another poem

and I'd rather be alone
than anywhere near you