Lauren W.

i think its safer to fall in love with someone
who never loved you back
then to fall in love with someone
who said they did

my mama always said that in order for someone to love me
i have to learn to love myself

i think she's wrong

i think its easier to love yourself
when you have someone holding your hand while you walk down the aisle of your imperfections

aisle 2 crooked smile
aisle 6 wide hips
17 drama queen

someone to pick you up when you trip over your flaws
or tell you that doing your best is enough

tell you that you are enough

i was learning to love myself
until i learned that it was a lie

the next day it was goodbye
thought you were a good guy
and I'm sorry
i didn't qualify

i told myself not to fall in love
nows not the time

i told myself he's not the one
you're too young

my head keeps telling me no
but my heart is saying yes
my body is saying now
and he's saying we'll make this work somehow, my love

it was 12:42am
we were intertwined in the sheets of his bed
"i'd marry you tomorrow, if i could"

everything was right
but so so wrong
in all the right ways

until

it was sunday
and it was raining
he asked to hold my hand on the way home

then dropped me off
for the last time

then he left

i felt too much

he didn't feel at all

I've spent my life loving people
who don't love me back

"its nothing new"
i tell myself

my heart is at a crossroad
of letting go
and holding on

because i hate you
but i want you to show up at my door
and fight for me

but thats the problem here
is that i feel too much

and he feels nothing at all

so at 3 am when I'm hurting
and he's sleeping

ill tell myself
"its nothing new"

and let go

it was all a lie

i grew up by the ocean
i have salt water in my veins

I've never been scared of waves
or drowning

i met a boy
by the ocean
who pulled me in like the waves
swirled me around and danced with me for a while

and pushed me back out with the current
when something new came along


it was the wrong time or the wrong place or something
but i let it happen

because I've never been scared of waves
or drowning

i met a boy
by the ocean
who i loved
who left

and i am now scared of waves
and drowning

i made the mountains my new home
and I'm not afraid of heights



i thought you were the one

I've got a fast car

and you've got a fast heart

and I'm not talking about the beats

you fall for a girl for a day

and then fade away

it hurts

i felt safe in your arms

like i couldn't be harmed

you were gone

it was quick

you moved from chick to chick with your slick tricks

you're a dick

you call late at night

we hit every red light

i miss you

but why do i miss

all we did was kiss

stop calling me

you reach for my hand

the radio's playing my favorite band

i can't help it

he's the one that got away

the boy who falls every day 

I'll miss you

i met a boy,

who is quiet,

he's got blue eyes like the ocean and blonde hair like his mamas

he kisses me in public and pinky promised not to hurt me

we had two days until i moved 3000 miles away

on our last night we took the long way home and not because the short way was closed

we sang in the car, 
and kissed, 
in the car, 

some love was made for the lights
some kiss your cheek and goodnight

he was wrong for me 
in all the right ways

he was rain on a sunday
and i know that someday
maybe
if we're lucky

our love will be made for the lights