Lauren W.

it's 10:31 on a Sunday night and i just feel sad

everything is going fine, i have to keep telling myself that
but i don't believe myself when i do

i've wanted to cry for a few days now
but i hate the way my eyes look the next day

i've got a lot on my mind lately

I'm thinking about a boy, and graduation, and i have this sad song stuck in my head

i'm looking threw pictures of me and a boy with blue eyes and i can't help but think what went wrong

in just a few months we're all going to be living on university avenue and i'm not sure i chose the right major
or college
or apartment building

I can hear my parents talking downstairs and i'm thinking about how much I'm going to miss the saturday morning donut runs with dad
and the late night talks with mom

my best friend since second grade submitted her mission papers today and I'm so happy for her, i am, but I'm also really sad and i can't stop thinking about it

my brother just told me he's disappointed in me, and it won't get out of my head
and my sister just announced she's having a baby boy in October and i couldn't be more excited

my best friends are going to make new best friends in just a few months and i wish i could tell the new ones how lucky they are

my mom brought home a puppy two days ago and i think its the only thing keeping me sane

i'm moving to salt lake this week and i haven't even started to pack
maybe it's because i don't want to leave the memories,
maybe it's because the walls know too many of my secrets and i don't want to start over someplace new

but mostly, i'm thinking about a boy, and graduation, and i've got this sad song stuck in my head

i will think of you when the sky is gray
and i will kiss you like the rain did our skin that day

you will hold my hand like forgiveness
and hug me like hope

our broken promises will fit together like a work of art
and together, we will make something beautiful

we will press our skin together like flowers between pages
and you will tell me how your favorite song reminds you of your father

we will walk through fields of wildflowers
and you will pick one for me
i will get mad and tell you that this flower will now die

this flower,
once beautiful,
will die

and us,
once beautiful,
with it

when i was 7 years old i promised my dad i'd never grow up

salt water tears
and waves of infatuation

sun kissed skin,
lips
and bodies

you were a tsunami and i was a hurricane
together, we made the perfect storm

so baptize me in your ocean
and kiss me till dawn

till the rain comes falling
and the sea overflows

push me away like the shore pushes the sea
i'll come back every time, i'll come back every time

you and me
me and you

together, we made something as deep as the ocean blue

Another poem with Malia Helbling, a tribute to Nelson, slam team and all things poetry.

L+M I heard my first poem sitting in the back of the classroom, head down, eyes shut, mind on something else.

L This is about passion
M this is about writing about a boy 17 times
L+Mand the stars well, we'er still writing about those.

L+MI've memorized my favorite poem line by line, hoping that one day I will be able to write something just as beautiful.

L since I was four years old i wrote everything I could down, how I felt, how much my brother bothered me, how I loved the ocean.

M i have a dozen journals half full of untold stories only my heart knows how to read.

L There are poems that live in the corners of my mind fighting their way onto paper
L+M but no one that will listen.
L but he was there
M and so were we

L every Tuesday we wore our hearts on our sleeve
M the other day someone asked me what that stain was
L+M we told him Tuesdays were cancelled.


M and we never got out t-shirts

L+M Tuesdays were our
therapy sessions
life lessons
late night confessions

L and my mom can't get that stain out
M and she doesn't understand why we care so much

L+M I wrote poetry on my heart on my heart in permanent marker and it only took 4 days for the dry cleaners to get it out

M we learned to embrace messy handwriting an chaotic thoughts because it meant we had something to say.

L+M my math teacher taught me y=mx=b but words seem to be the only equation that solved nothing but emotions

M thank you to the boy i wrote about 17 times, you gave me a reason to write

L thank you to the boy who told me didn't love me, i figured out i loved writing more than I loved you

M Paris was more than just a metaphor
L more than just a place to go on Tuesdays during lunch
M and more than just blog posts on Sunday nights

L+M we never wrote to get into the top 5

L writing got me through the break up
M writing got me through the divorce
L+M writing got me through high school and we couldn't have done it without you

thanks nelson

i got denied from the school of my dreams

but im an expert at swallowing gum before kissing
and I'm excellent at falling too hard for boys who don't know my name

i'm not sure where to go to college

but i know that even the best of friends can still break your heart
and i know that the earth will keep spinning and the sun will continue to shine even if you can't feel it

I'm almost positive i want to be a second grade teacher

but sometimes i think about third
and sometimes my future seems a little bit blurred

i have no idea who my real friends are

but i know when the sky is pink its God telling me "today will be a good day"
and i know that wearing gray makes me feel pretty

i've been taught the quadratic formula
but theres no equation for emotions
and y=mx+b does not solve heart break

i know that kisses are supposed to have meaning
but boys here don't really get that

and i know that math is not my strongest subject
but i am fantastic at wishing on stars
and i could tell you the big dipper from the little one any day

i know i want to go to BYU Hawaii
and i want to get married to a boy with blue eyes
and i want to be a second grade teacher
and i want to be a mother of three


I'm just not sure how to get there, I'm a little bit lost

so I told him he didn't know what love was